MARRYING FOR LOVE

Women in Asia are the usual target of men from Europe and the U.S as a suitable bride. 

Looking back 15-20 years ago, this was not the situation. Europeans and Americans were looked at as  predators of innocent young Asians, who only wants sex and a submissive wife who would likely do any of their bidding. Bore children, take care of the house, cooked, clean and do her wifely duties at night. Hold your breath! The table has been turned.

I can't help but noticed that family and friends of the bride looked at this men as mine of gold. When the man visits the woman in her native land, everything that is expensive are in order, hotels, classy restaurants (if there is any), all kinds of socialization that the family can think of, going places to have fun.Who pays for everything? HE IS. The poor man falls victim to this type of abuse captured by the beauty and love for the lady who seem not to care at all for his feelings. Like a puppet following every whim and caprices of his beloved.

It is not my intention to criticize my own kind but an eye opener both to foreign men and Asian families as well. I am speaking based on my experienced. I am currently engaged to a black man from California. I was amazed on how the news travels fast after our first meeting and engagement. Nine out of ten people I met are asking me when will I quit my job. Unsuspecting, I asked them why? It goes "Well, you are marrying an American so he must be rich so you don't have to work a day in your life, you made the right choice, now a days you have to be practical." I was so disgusted. So, this all about security not love? I can't help but give them a piece of my mind. I am not marrying for practicalities sake or for money either. I AM MARRYING FOR LOVE. With this being said (not very nicely though) to almost 80 percent of people I know. I started getting hateful stares, messages, emails, the list goes on and on. Ohh, my fiancé was not spared too, even high school students are trying to HIT or HATE him. 

What hurts most is discrimination of color. I can take any type of remark thrown at me for speaking my mind but NOT RACISM. I am an advocate of justice, peace, freedom and equality for all since I was 12 years old. 

What does color have to do with a person? Does it make a person less human? Does white, yellow or brown skin people live their life differently, looked more beautiful? Isn't beauty only skin deep? Are fair skinned smarter, better? Doesn't every one wants to be treated  fair and without prejudice? This world would be a better place to live if we could learn to accept people and things as it is. 

I am tired of hearing all those remarks everyday. Here is the truth behind. I have been in love with him the first time we met, it went deeper as each day passes by. He is the ONLY man who didn't talked about sex or any of that sort, very gentleman in every way. We have our ups and downs, lots of it. He is not perfect but I love everything that he is. He gained my love and respect in a hundred little ways. He loves and cares for US like nobody had. What more can I asked for? I have everything now, a Family of my own. He may not be rich with worldly possessions but we are more than rich, we have love.  Money can't buy me love or happiness. God has given me everything that I need. I will thank him everyday for this.

A SALUTE TO MY FATHER

I miss my Father's love. Though it had caused me a lot of hurt and pain, it is the first TRUE LOVE that I have felt. 

In his eyes I am perfect despite my imperfections, stubbornness, rebellion and spoiled brat attitude. I was always right even though he knows I was NOT. I had been so self centered. I did not realized what I had. I took him for granted knowing he will always be there. I may NOT have been a good daughter to him BUT his love for me stayed the same. A loving father, a man of God, a good brother, a loyal friend, I am who I am because of YOU. I SALUTE YOU!

RAISING HONEST KIDS

"Raising children is like baking a cake, you don't know that it is a disaster until it is too late." 

Parenting doesn't have rules to follow or a guide book to refer to, it is a full time job 24/7, no time outs, no rest days.  

I came from a family with strict family rules, Christian values, prim and proper attitude and character which should always conform to the moral and legal standards set by the society. It sure looks like an ideal family on the outside. Well raised kids, strong willed Mother and a Pastor for a Father. 

I am the youngest, apple of my father's eye, spoiled but disciplined (not that well). My siblings envy me with the attention and love that my father showered me, the moment he learns that my Mom was pregnant. I can't blame my siblings. If I were in their shoes I would feel the same.I became rebellious whenever I don't get what I want or if the rules were to hard for me (I always think that way anyway). I promised to myself that I will not make the same mistakes with my children. 

I raised my kids, basically like I was raised BUT in a more democratic way. No spanking, No shouting or raising of voices (though sometimes it can't be totally avoided), my daughters can talk to me about anything  and I encourage them to do so. I am a Mother, a friend and a friend of their friends too. Impossible? NO.

Based on my experience, the first thing that parents should give to their children is TRUST. When the child tells you something, do not doubt the child's sincerity by asking him/her if its the truth. To avoid this fiasco, which might lead to a bigger problem. There is a house rule that states.. "No matter how big the mistake or offense that one has committed as long as that person voluntarily admits it, NO PUNISHMENT will be given." I myself don't break that rule.

Simple house rules that would save parents from worries and headaches. One of my colleagues asked me, why do you always believe your children? They might be lying and you just don't know it. I answered her with great confidence. My children DON'T LIE. I explained to her how it works. 

Parents are NOT always right. Most of the times we repeat the words, actions and rules that our parents had imposed on us, which we HATE so much during our teenage years, and we expect our kids to embrace it with out a fight. Why not put yourself in their shoes and try to hear the words that you are saying? How about accept the fact that YOU can be wrong too and that your 10 year old child is right? Would that hurt? YES, it would hurt your ego. Which is more important? Your ego or how your child would be when he/she becomes a parent too. What legacy are we leaving our child? The choice is yours!

BLAME IT ALL ON ME

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Everything is my fault? Even the way my children behaves is my fault? Do I need to take all the blame for the actions of people around me? Okay, I raised them so, I am the example that they were looking at. That becomes my fault, thats fine. But look at it this way. I have raised two great kids, almost on my own. Courteous, Respectful, God- fearing and SMART. What more can a mother asked for? People envy me for that. Can I at least have some credit for doing all that? I made mistakes, LOTS of it, I have faults. I am NOT perfect, but my children are no longer kids but a teenager and an adult. Do I still have to take the blame for their actions? I GUESS NOT.

IF ONLY WALLS CAN HEAR

I'M BORED! Nothing to do, no one to talk to.

IF ONLY WALLS CAN HEAR

If only walls can hear and whisper in my ear, 

The things I want to hear, it would be very clear

Cos silence is so loud, shouting inside my head

Then I would have a friend when ever my heart bleed

If only walls can hear then we can have a chat

I won't need facebook or the net to pour my mind's content

If only walls can hear, even when I'm in a hospital bed

There would be someone to talk to, put sadness to an end

I miss the man I love, thousands of miles away

If only walls can hear, it can keep my blues at bay

Would whisper in my ears and say he will be here soon

Cheer up and  smile just count the days till he returns

If only walls can hear, any one can talk to that someone

No need to think of things to say cos it will never be gone

A flat smooth friend painted in blue, orange, red and yellow smear

If only walls can hear, it would be something we will hold so near

I WILL RISK EVERYTHING FOR LOVE

Have you ever been in the middle of the road, where both sides have a speeding trucks and cars and you have nowhere to run? 
Have you ever been torn between LOVE and HATE, you don't know which to choose? 
Have you ever been happy that tears run down your cheeks? 
Have you ever been lonely, you want to kill yourself? 
Have you ever felt so complete you cannot ask for more? 
Have you ever been so empty you think you will shatter anytime? 
Have you ever felt so weak and helpless, that you pity yourself? 
Have you ever left your guard down and risk of being attacked? 
Have you ever been so afraid, you think there is no one to save you? 
Have you ever been so angry, you felt that the devil possessed you? 
Have you ever felt God in your heart, you felt eternal Peace? 
Have you ever been lost in your dreams, you just want to stay there forever? 

Summed it all up, add the feelings I haven't mentioned and ask yourself this....
Can a person feel all this and still be sane?

YES, lock yourself in an impenetrable shell and throw away the key in the outer space. Trust me, you can survive anything. Nothing can touch you there.

Would you risk feeling all that HURT and PAIN for love?........ YES, I WILL, anything for the ONE I love is worth taking the risk. No doubts, no fears.